The road to improving my self-worth

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

I was recently invited by Uni-Y SMU to perform for [ The Stage @ Jericho's : Jericho's Night ], which was also the first day of Uni-Y SMU Step Up Camp 2015. I was under the Jericho's music mentorship programme last year and I'm really glad that I was given this opportunity!

Photo credits: Uni-Y SMU

Performing at various venues and occasions has allowed me to meet lots of talented people, and most importantly made me feel more confident :) When I was in sec 1, I auditioned for a singing competition for the first time in my life. It was my secondary school's talent quest. I did so under the encouragement of my friends who kept saying I had a nice voice. Thanks wor, whoever who encouraged me! Hehehe

But at that time, I was that quiet and meek girl who have yet to discover my singing voice, nor did I know how to use it. In that first audition, I was singing with the original track (i.e. the original singer's voice was inside) and I couldn't, or should I say I didn't know how to project my voice. In the end people couldn't even hear my voice and I machiam lip syncing lidat wahaha!!! Of course I didn't get in la, and I was kinda dejected after that... Nobody likes rejections ma!!

Random comic I found online, it's kinda true for me last time! Now... I would be happy if I can go out at night sometimes to erm... dance? HAHA

Anyway after that, I was motivated to improve myself and audition for the competition again in sec 2, and I did! But I didn't get in AGAIN T.T Then I was quite pissed already omg hahaha but aiya I probably chose the wrong song cuz I got cut off before I sang the chorus, and that's where I could hit some high notes keke. But anyway, I joined again in sec 3!!! 我是打不死的蟑螂 =p Crap I hate cockroaches, okay nvm thats not the main point.

So in sec 3, I auditioned for the talent quest again and I FINALLY GOT IN!!!! I got into the finals and got 3rd place~ Okay fine I didn't win but I was already very happy to have gotten into the finals liao!! After all, it's a huge leap from being rejected for 2 years ley!

That competition was an important milestone in my life, for I finally realised that I COULD sing! It was only then that my self-worth improved by leaps and bounds. Now thinking back, I realise that I was already quite musically talented (HAHA omg start to haolian liao) because I could play the piano, and I was in the percussion section in my sec school band and I could (erm I think? aiya dunno la) learn new pieces fairly quickly... Some more my sight-reading skills very good; usually ppl hate the sight-reading component in ABRSM exams, but it was my favourite after sight-singing!!

During NUS Open Day 2015! 

There was a whiteboard at our portion in the band room so we'll doodle stuff sometimes kekeke, why my cute junior draw me until lidat eyeer

Even though I could do all these things, I couldn't see it. Maybe cuz I was quite introverted and wasn't the popz girl in school, there weren't enough people around to praise me and make me feel good HAHAHA I very insecure one hor =p Oh but then my close friends were always there for me!! They always encouraged me and were a huge source of comfort for me~ I feel so lucky to have you guys kekeke :)

Anyway after that, I started to join more singing competitions because I wanted to stand on stage again! So weird ley it's like a 180 degree change, a meek girl wanting to sing in front of a huge crowd, the more the better, hahaha =p So after participating in performances, competitions and via trial and error over the years, I learnt how to use my voice more (cuz I've never learnt singing in a music school before, so I just anyhow try lo hahaha) and be more confident!

FAST FORWARD TO MY JC DAYS...

My self-worth further improved when I entered JC and joined squash!

Keke so funny why I look so nerd

To give you some context, I was never good in sports. I hated exercising and I'll be super happy if PE lesson was cancelled!! In sec 3 I took 20 minutes to run 2.4km omg and I retook 3 times before I finally got an E I think... Actually until now I still hate running hahaha!!

But I wanted to challenge myself and try a new sport, so I went to join squash (they surprisingly accepted me)!! At first I was the lousiest but I dun wanna 认输!! Oh by the way please play this original song by the talented Boonie and Waii Hoong while you read my post, the song is SUPER NICE I swear!!!



Okay back to the story; cuz I didn't want to believe that I couldn't do ANY sports, I decided to train really hard to prove myself. So I just trained and trained lor, sometimes I trained until I 崩溃 and cry hahaha kuazhang!! But anyway I really did it in the end by getting into the school team and had the chance to go for A Div yay!!

And after entering hall in uni I managed to be the captain in year 1 and 2 and that totally boosted my ego HAHAHA eh from failing 2.4km to becoming the squash captain leh not easy you know (erm I think I'll still fail 2.4km now though)!

Sian all my squash photos very unglam cuz I can't put makeup!!! T.T

Actually I became captain not because I was super good in squash, is cuz I was the only freshie who had squash experience, thats why I got to be the captain kekeke! But nvm, those who never read this post will think I very zai for being captain, actually I'm not =p

But ultimately, at least I proved to myself that I could play at least ONE sport (I'm still lousy at other sports now including tennis even though it's kinda similar to squash, suan le ba squash is enough)!

Omg what is the moral of the story ah, I type type type until I blur liao!! Maybe there isn't one, I just feel like ranting because I've neglected my blog for so long~~ Haven't even edited my photos from my summer programme in Hong Kong back in July urgh!

Okay I guess I shall end with this quote - "You will never succeed if you are afraid to fail."

And here are my performance clips from Jericho's Night! Annyeong~~~

Just The Way You Are:


Pretty Boy:

Flashlight:

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